Although the last trip was very tough too (May, almost 6 months after my Mom passed), I just feel like this one is going to be so emotional. During my Mom's passing, I was lucky enough to have my sweet girl with me. Through all of the pain and anguish of losing my Mom without really having time to prepare, I was able to focus on my girl too. I remember going to bed after the folks from the funeral home left with my Mom's body. It was almost 5 in the morning and my eyes and heart and head hurt. I was feeling a discomfort from the comfort of the Hospice nurses. I looked down at Nola on the bed and thought she would just be waking up at home. 3 hours with the time change sounded like more of a sentence than a gift. She ended up sleeping in until 10:30 a.m. EST. The picture below is a one of "carry on" to me.
Tickets are pricey and it's daunting to put out over $750 per person counting needed bags. Maybe I'll find some peace showing Nola some of my Mom's things that are still there. I'll make her stuffed green peppers one night, a puff pancake the next morning. Oral history is important, no matter whether it is a story or a supper.
I was told that the first few months are the hardest. I have found that true for break ups in romantic things and in friendships, but not with my Mom. I remember going back to work and saying "my Mom passed" and being okay. I can't say those words without crying now. It'll pass too, I know that.
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